hopeful... maybe more like thoughtful.

Those of you who know me well know that I don't follow politics. That is an active choice - I've attempted to follow, and find myself just getting more frustrated and more disappointed in people every time I get into them again. So, I choose to focus my energy, talent, and time on things that I believe are more important, in hopes that helping develop strong, independent, intelligent, caring young people will help the future of our country in a way that politics clearly are not. 

I did vote today. I'm also taking a few minutes before bed to watch some of these election results roll in.  But before I turn in for the night, I wanted to post about something that popped into my head as I am watching moments of joy and disappointment, hope and fear roll across the screen...

Amidst celebration and concession speeches with backdrops of mostly red balloons, I'm hearing overhead speakers blast the Blacked-Eyed Peas' "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night"... (hm, that's interesting.)  Good or bad is not for me to judge, but tonight certainly is a big night.  In particular, it's a life changing one for many who have been voted into office for the first time or who are starting a new chapter in their political journey.  Then too, in just one day, the course of our country has officially shifted, which is pretty powerful to think about.  You don't need to know who I voted for or what, if any, party I identify with. This is for everyone and anyone who had the night of their life tonight, as we move past election day and onto every other day.

The Man in the Glass.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say. 

For it isn't your father or mother or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass,

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass. 

Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum

And call you a wonderful guy.

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye. 

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest

For he's with you clear to the end

And you've passed your most dangerous test

If the guy in the glass is your friend. 

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you've cheated the man in the glass.

a bit on the lighter side.

Thirty-seven seconds... not even necessary.

My baby sister Meredith is visiting the 'bus this weekend (!). Of course, Mer knows when she comes to visit we will probably (okay, certainly) go shopping. So, we took a stroll through the north end of Easton this evening. 

Now, admittedly, I am a true believer in retail therapy. Even just being around all the pretty window displays and twinkle lights makes me giddy. We walked into the new Madewell store for a split second tonight, and that was it. Love at first sight.

No no, this has nothing to do with a man. I really, truly do love shopping just that much.

Slighty shallow post? Sure. Am I posting it anyway? Absolutely. I find joy in all sorts of little moments.

Moral of the story is 1) promise me window displays and twinkle lights, and I may be falling in love with you instead of a "dynamic, mixed-use town center" or a pair of killer cognac riding boots, and 2) Go check out Madewell, will ya?

Dear Santa, See this? Yep. XOXO, Mel

great expectations.

I know I owe you more dish on Europe. But... I had the chance in class today to talk about something that represents a part of my life that significantly impacted my identity development, and it sparked a few thoughts worth blogging about.

I brought a pretty important piece of jewelry to share with the class (It's shaped like a kite)... and it reminded me of one of my most favorite moments in college - a moment of appreciation, thankfulness, clarity, and loyalty.

Those who were there will remember this excerpt from a Roy Croft poem:

I love you, not only for what you are, but for who I am when I am with you. 

I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, 

but for what you are making of me. 

I love you, for the part of me that you bring out. 

I love you, because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good,

And more than any fate could have done to make me happy... 

...You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. 

You have done it by being yourself. 

Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.

Even if you may not know what moment I'm referring to, I think you can imagine the impact of this poem... particularly when presented in a way that isn't on a random, rambling MelRoc blog post. ;) I'd like to think we are all able to say that this poem reflects how we feel about anyone we spend a lot of time and energy on or with. And if we can't, I hope we have the courage to do something about that.

This one certainly goes out to my girls, for reasons obvious to them. But, in particular, it goes out to my brother Kevin - someone who I admittedly fought with for most of my life. Yet, as we get older I realize we share much of the same values, perspectives, expectations, and dreams.  I admire him for a lot of things, particularly his strength and determination. He's a smart cookie, too. I think he'll get why I dedicated this particular post to him... Love you, Kev.

source: www.cartoonstock.com

a brief instrumental break...

[...totally necessary (along with the cup of magic below) to set up my next few blog posts. They are in regards to an entire continent, after all.]

Hey, Europe!

What's shakin'? I miss you. Thanks for letting me come play on your side of the pond for three weeks this summer. I had heard so much about you for so many years... I can't believe we didn't actually meet until this summer. I'm convinced that someone somewhere knew how well we'd get a long and was worried that I would...

a)  love you more than I love them (inevitable)
b)  leave them for you (likely), and/or
c)  if nothing else, tell people you were way cooler than them (hahahaahaha I shouldn't even have to comment after this option).

I can see why Nicki, AP, and Court decided they wanted to come hang with you for a while... you're one cool cat, Europe. My girls sure are the best for introducing the two of us. (Really, they're the best regardless...) but I am particularly grateful to them for hosting me when I came to visit you. It was so special to have such incredible friends share in our first meeting.

So listen: I'm not sure when I'll be back to see you, but please know how much you mean to me. I am confident our paths will cross again someday. Until then, know that you have a fan in Ohio who thinks you are just lovely.

(And send over a chocolate croissant and a cup of real coffee if you have a chance...)

xoxo,

M

(P.S. - A few favorites for your scrapbook...)

mel's summer express. stop #1: elc sb10.

Upon my (first) graduation from TOSU, I was blessed with the opportunity to travel all over the U.S. and Canada as an Educational Leadership Consultant ("ELC") for Kappa Alpha Theta ("Theta").

Huh, what?

You can read the current ELC's blog here if it helps. But, essentially, it was the most difficult and rewarding job I will ever hold. I am certain of it...

• Because we truly know what it means to be advocates for student leadership, character, responsibility, perseverance, independence, faith, hope, and love.
• Because it is, was, and always will be the best, most influential, and most rewarding professional experience.
• And, because we work(ed) harder and care(d) more than 99.9% of anyone in any other job on Earth. Period.

And that, my dears, is passion.

It was one of those experiences that truly epitomizes that really cliche quote: "From the outside looking in, you could never understand it. From the inside looking out, you can never explain it." I mean, yes, sappy. But it's true. I could write about that experience forever, but that would defeat the point of this blog... and I could still never do the experience justice.

What is crucial for you to understand, however, is this:

I would not be the woman I am today with out my experience as an ELC. I mean that. I am forever indebted to the people and places planted into my life that year. I continue to grow into a better version of myself because of the learning and love they provided back then that will stay with me always.

You got that? We good? Okay... on with the story.

The nine of us who traveled as ELCs that year still get together annually for what we call "ELC Spring Break." Sometimes we go places just because, sometimes for weddings, and sometimes even for baby showers. Regardless, we all agreed we'd make the effort to reunite once a year.

2005-2006 ELCs on SB06 (our first) in Scottsdale, AZ

ELC SB10 came in the form of Lizzer's wedding to her new hubby Scott... in York, PA. Now, before you go knocking our SB location, please understand that the nine of us are the kind of girls who "bring the party." Doesn't matter where. So, in true ELC form, we had a ball in historic, beautiful, traditional York. (Yes, home of the Peppermint Pattie and just a stone's throw from the largest settlement of Amish in the U.S.)

My absolutely favorite moment from that weekend is captured here.

Jenni, Liz, Bricklin, Ashley

This would be Liz's garden party rehearsal dinner at her parents' home, complete with floral china, luxurious linens, boat shoes, a few southern swoops, wait staff, sun dresses, and homemade gourmet desserts...

...This is also when Liz finally had a break in her bride-to-be duties and decided to join "that table", when we realized that Jenni's extra-extroverted tendencies had something to do with the Chardonnay, and when Bricklin decided to play Thrillville's "Some Cut" on her iPhone (it wouldn't be the first time).

There are a lot of classy, impressive things about Ashley, Bricklin, Emily, Erin, Jackie, Jenni, Lauren, Liz, and the other women over the years who have had the distinct pleasure to serve the Fraternity as ELCs. But what I think makes me most proud of us is that we still know how to walk that perfect line between elegant and effervescent. A lot of women lose that as they get older (if they ever had it to begin with.) Not my ELC girls. I am confident in that.

The fine nine on SB09 - Surprise baby shower for Lauren in Seattle.

Bettie certainly does know best. Proud to be a Theta.

oh hey, rocco. where'd you go?

I know, I know. You feel neglected. I'm sorry.

It's been a few months, but I promise I have good excuses for my absence. Just as a quick rundown, here's where I've been and what I've done since we last chatted:

• Spring quarter final papers (all 5 of them, all 100 pages of them. This is not a joke.)
• D.C. to hang with my girls T and Ash
• York, PA for Lizzer's wedding and ELC Spring Break '10
• D.C. part 2 with T's boy Chad and his mom Karen (lovely.)
• Europe. NBD.
• Zurich and Lausanne, Switzerland with A.P. and Nicki
• Geneva with Nicki
• Rome with Court
• London with Court
• Paris with my boyfriends (known to most as Mikey and Rick H.)
• London part 2 with cousin Michael
• Sidney (as in Ohio) for T and Chad's wedding
• Wrighty 1, 2010 with my magic-makers (OASC Summer Workshop)
• Demon Country and The Cleve
• Chi-city for V and Adam's wedding
• Demon Country and The Cleve part 2
• D.C. part 3 for Beta Theta Pi General Convention and Leadership College

Yeah. And I've still got a week away at LeaderShape to look forward to.

"But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life...?" - Eat, Pray, Love  

(Isn't it interesting that a movie about a book about traveling and finding yourself comes out right as I end a summer full of the same thing? Ahh, coincidence. Or maybe fate...)

I've been packing, unpacking, and repacking all summer. And those of you who know me well know that I wouldn't have it any other way. (You're also not surprised I summed up my summer using bullet points.) This truly has been the summer of a lifetime, for a million little reasons.

So now I'm trying to get back in to the swing of things here in the 'bus before autumn quarter begins mid-September. You know, laundry, cleaning out closets, getting used to American coffee again (ugh.) catching up at work, finally buying curtains...

and updating my blog.

I'd like to take the next few weeks to catch you up on everything on that list up there by focusing on my favorite moments throughout the summer. Hopefully it will be a unique and personal glimpse into my special little (or not-so little) world from the past three months.

Here we go...

meet my sanity.

11:34 PM

marco@ntonio:

-> I miss youuuuu
-> Can't wait for our grown up date tomorrow :)

All, meet Marco.  He sent this to me via BBM (That's Blackberry Messanger... it's an addiction.  Any of you who have a Crackberry can attest to this.)  Anyway, this was random.  I saw him less than 24 hours ago, and I'd talked to him about two hours earlier, but we weren't in a BBM conversation at the time he sent this.  He was just out, and thought of me.

Marco has a laugh that makes others giggle.  He's given up sweets since Lent, but certainly has not given up J. Crew.  For this, I am thankful.

Today, I told Marco he wasn't my grad school friend.  He got offended, until he realized what I meant...

... the "grad school" part wasn't necessary.

fountain of youth.

You know how the saying goes: "If I had a nickel for every time __[insert circumstance]__, I'd be rich."

Well, I think if I had even just a penny for every time I can attribute my personal success to something I learned through my experience with the Ohio Association of Student Councils (OASC), I'd have ended world hunger by now. 

Handle a tough situation, make a new friend, stand up for what I believe in, be silly in a crowd full of boring-ness... you name it, and OASC has taught me how to do it, or given me the courage to learn for myself. And though this post could easily pass as a shameless plug for a non-profit with which I am in love, (and I mean that, IN LOVE), the truth of it is that OASC is the foundational inspiration for this blog.

I said in my first post that sooner rather than later I would write about the people who had introduced me to the wonderful world of children's books and movies, and how they end up teaching us adults some pretty important things, too. Miss Connie Miley introduced me to Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium and a host of other fan favorites. Mr. John Namey is a Polar Express expert, among other things. Molls & Ash helped me bring Love You Forever to our favorite teens... the list goes on.

The bottom line is that I've got this history of great people who helped me learn and teach great life lessons to others because they were intelligent and insightful enough to see the value of childhood in adulthood. I mean, it should be easy enough for all of us to see and do. But, I think it's pretty apparent that most adults quickly forget some... well, most... of those important childhood lessons. (As if it's only children who are childish and immature. Hm.)

Below is an excerpt from Sanders and Sillers' I Hope You Dance. This darling little book came out right around the time Lee Ann Womack's song by the same title became immensely popular. The book is one of my personal favorites, and tonight, this particular piece goes out as a tribute and "thank you" to my OASCers. All of you. Wherever you are. However old (or young) you may be. I owe you for teaching me that age is just a number, and that magic exists in so many forms in so many ways throughout each stage of life. I think this will hit home for each of you...

Ah, youth... new skin, wide smiles, 
clear eyes... the future so bright.
If only we could bottle it up, sip it now and again, 
and stay forever twenty-one,
forever ten, forever five.

I liked being five.

But I'd also like to think that time and age are like cousins-
they're relative. 
Who said you have to go by actual miles? 
If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you be? 
(Me, I'm sticking with five.)

I'll even argue that you can bottle youth. 
What you store it in is all up to you. 
(I suggest your heart.)
If you can figure out a way to keep the energy and gumption and fire alive,
you'll always stay young.
And where there's youth, there's hope...
where there's hope, there's wonder...
where there's wonder, there's faith...
where there's faith, there's chance...
where there's chance, there's love...
where there's love, there's music...

and dancing.

take the gum!

I'm pretty lucky. I've got these girls... well, they're sisters, really. By Theta standards, of course. But also because they are just that special and important.

My girls, they do some pretty amazing things. Grad school, PhDs, traveling and living all over the world, promotions way beyond their years, volunteering and speaking and helping... and they're kind, genuine, sassy, funny, intelligent, and beautiful to boot. (Yes, this kind of woman does exist.) We hardly get to see each other because we're so busy being successful and independent and, well, fabulous. Yet, I have and still do refer to them as my best asset. You can see why...

Anyway, I could go on about them forever. But, given that this blog is supposed to be about the little moments in life that too often and too quickly pass us by, I'd like to draw your attention to the photo below.  These are some of my girls. And this is what we do. We gab, we share, we laugh, we give each other advice, we laugh some more, we can look at each other and know exactly what the others are thinking and feeling... I'm not sure that most people ever get to feel the kind of connection to their friends that I feel with my girls. And this picture captures it beautifully. (Thanks to V's future mother-in-law for getting this shot!) Most of the time we're so involved in each other when we're together that we don't get to properly document moments like this. And this one is a gem.

We talk a lot about how lucky we are. Women are pretty awful to one another most of the time. Even ones that claim to be best friends. But these girls... these women... they get it. The unconditional love that I receive from these women and give back in turn is just... indescribable. I sure hope I'm wrong about other people's friendships... I hope they do get to feel this. Because I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Good luck to the men who work their way into our lives. You've got to be okay with not just one strong female, but a whole group... a group that's not going anywhere.

....and Patty, thank goodness you took the gum like we told you to. ;)

hey, sir.

You know how there are your "friends," and then there are your friends? 

I had a long overdue conversation tonight with someone who has turned out to be a pretty big part of my life in the last six months.  Honestly, It's been rocky with us lately, which has been quite heartbreaking. (I guess that speaks to how important this person is to me). But, tonight solidified for me that he is one of the good ones... one of those people who makes my short list of real friends who will be forever a part of my world even long after we've both moved to new places, met new people, taken new jobs, etc. Those don't come a long often.

So, to you, thanks. I admire and adore you, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.  I am blessed and lucky to have you in my life. And, I owe you a grilled cheese... (meaning a real sandwich, I promise.)

silly putty personified.

In times of change, the learner will inherit the earth while the learned will find themselves well equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. - Eric Hoffer

I think I alluded to the fact that I’m in grad school right now, yes? Well, I am.  I work, too. But, I’ve always wanted a masters degree, and I just like school. (Nerd, I know. It’s okay.) 

I expected the grad school experience to be somewhat academically challenging, and it is. But, quite frankly, the experience has pretty much rocked me emotionally, mentally, socially… I feel like my life has been roughed up, rolled through the dirt, and hung up on a flag pole by its belt loops (or underwear, depending on how familiar you are with 80s high school movies.)  The adult I thought I had become in the five years I spent working after undergrad is being questioned each and every day… sometimes by my professors, often by my classmates, but mostly by me.

Maybe that sounds bad at first. But, lately anything having to do with school (classes, friends, etc.) does legitimately make me nauseous. Though, the idealist in me would like to think that each time I encounter something or someone that makes me question my worth as a student, friend, or person in general, I am growing.  That at the end of the day all of those little hurdles and the steps I take to get over them are molding me into a better version of myself.  (Yes, I realize that somewhere in Hollywood right now, James Horner is composing background music for that statement.) 

All kidding aside, I guess I thought I was done learning… at least for the rest of my 20s.  So this revelation is really just… wow.  I mean, I have considered myself a fairly confident, independent young woman.  I have faith in my abilities to contribute to my school, my friends, my job, my community, the world in general.  And I thought that who I had become by September of 2009 when grad school started was the person I was going to be until I…. I don’t know, turned 30, or got married (ugh), or moved to a foreign country or something. 

But, I was wrong. 

And I don’t like being wrong. And I especially don’t like admitting that I was wrong. 

I’m the person people come to for advice, to talk through all their insecurities.  How can I not have it all together?  I don’t think I expected to learn so much about myself and other people at this point in my life, at an institution I have so much history with, in a city I think of as my second home, in the state I grew up in. I feel like where I fit, who I fit with, and what I’m best purposed for is totally different than what I thought even just six months ago. Heck, even just a week ago.

Our futures are changing with each interaction, event, and decision of our daily lives.  You may not realize your life is changing that often, that rapidly… and you certainly won’t know how it’s changing. But it is.  And it’s the lack of control that can drive you crazy… to the point that you don’t let yourself learn from what’s happening, because change is scary, and no one likes to deal with it. Even those of us who think we’re great at it, or have even been paid to help others deal with it (Thanks, Uncle D.) 

I have done such a good job of convincing myself that I am already the woman I want to be, that I’m not letting myself become the woman that I can be. 

So I guess what I’m saying is thanks, grad school, for making sure I don’t get too comfortable. Go ahead, mold me, shape me, whatever you need to do.  I'll probably whine about it, but I'll deal with it and I'll try to remember that it's good for me and good for the world. You really are one smart cookie. That Eric Hoffer guy is, too.

so, there's that. but then, there's this...

At 7:29 PM EDT today my winter quarter nightmare of grad school papers and finals officially ended. It is now... 11:06 PM EDT. In other words, it only took me three hours and thirty seven minutes before starting my next project. (You're reading it). That's just not right... right?

I suppose I should embrace the moment. I don't really do that too often these days.  All in all, that's why I thought about creating this blog in the first place - as a personal commitment to documenting the little pieces of my life that I otherwise tend to pass over too quickly. I promised myself when I was younger that I'd never become one of those adults who misses the magic in between the big moments. Yeah, easier said than done.

I'm a sucker for children's books and movies, mostly because they tend to provide adult insight.  I have some important people to thank for introducing me to that little life secret... they will likely show up in this blog sooner rather than later. Anyway, I woke up this morning (after two weeks of work plus papers, minus sleep) for some reason thinking about the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. (I know, but remember my secret? Just hear me out.)

There is a particular scene in which Mr. Magorium and a good friend are playing in a clock shop. The two decide to reset all of the cuckoo clocks so that they go off at the same time. Waiting just moments before the shop bursts into cuckoo craziness, the following verbal exchange occurs:

Mr. Magorium: 37 seconds.
Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now, we wait.
Mr. Magorium: No... We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.


And there it is.  37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime. Talk about perspective.

It seems to me that we get so wrapped up in life sometimes that we forget to live. I, for one, need to pay better attention. Perhaps this blog will help wake me up. I mean, I'd like to re-commit to living. Living would be nice...